Asking forgiveness and giving mechilah
Rabbi Steven Exler of the Hebrew Institute of Riverdale began his Rosh Hashana drasha with this self-reflection: “I am so grateful for my life, for my family, for all of you. I am a happy person, optimistic by nature. But not like I used to be.”
After the last six years — first COVID, then Oct. 7 and everything that followed, with extraordinary technological, political and cultural challenges ahead — remaining cheerfully optimistic is likely harder than ever.
We think we have all of the answers and that if only those who don’t see things as we do would recognize the correctness of our insights, everything would be better, if not perfect.
We’re certain about so many things and dismissive of people we encounter with other perspectives, often walling them off without considering their views. A Republican and a Democrat, a Torah-observant Jew and one who is not currently Torah-observant — they’re all created in Hashem’s image and each should be valued.
Only G-d wields a seal of absolute authority, and even He resolutely loves His children and shows compassion when they stray.
A friend or family member who believes that President Trump is a Cyrus (or, seeing things differently, that President Biden was a Moses), who might express empathy for suffering people outside our tent (or, again, interpreting the world differently, believes that only those in our tent deserve our empathy) — they’re still family, they’re still friends, they’re still fellow Yids or simply fellow humans, and as such we owe them our love.
How many of us no longer chat with people whose politics we find indefensible? How many Shabbos dinner invitations were not extended and how many dinners ended with host or guest feeling less than Shabbosdik?
Even if we believe that our arguments touch on existential matters or are “for the sake of Heaven” (a haughty presumption!), are we licensed to act cruelly to a fellow Jew or justified in rejecting a fellow Jew’s apology?
Someone whose politics we find difficult should not be set apart from our community or from our family.
Our tradition emphasizes that we should seek forgiveness from others before seeking forgiveness from G-d.
In Mishneh Torah Hilchot Teshuvah (Ch. 2, Law 10) we are taught: “When the person who wronged him asks forgiveness, he should forgive him with a complete heart and a willing spirit. Even if he aggravated and wronged him severely, he should not seek revenge or bear a grudge.”
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Publishing a newspaper carries the risk that someone may be hurt by something printed or something omitted. I ask mechilah of anyone I may have hurt either through this newspaper or in person, and I offer mechilah to anyone who might seek it from me.
G’emar chatimah tovah.
