Yes, there really are things worth dying for

What makes leaders willing to sacrifice everything? This week marked nine years since my cousin Benjy Hillman fell in battle leading his men into combat in the second Lebanon War in 2006. One would think the tears would no longer flow so easily and the memorial ceremony at his grave would be less gut-wrenching. But watching his mother Judith’s eyes fill with tears, and listening to his younger brother Shimon’s voice crack as he shared his thoughts, made me lose it all over again. Just last week, Shimon related, his four-year old daughter had asked why Benjy had died before she had a chance to meet him; how do you respond to a question like that?

There is a fascinating episode in this week’s portion Mattot, which relates to this question.

The tribes of Reuven and Gad, desiring the vast grazing lands of Gilad and Ya’azer (areas recently conquered by the Israelites from Amon and Moab) present a startling request before Moshe: after 40 years wandering in the desert, they ask Moshe for the grazing lands across the Jordan, rather than enter the land of Israel. Moshe is appalled: “Will your brothers go to war while you sit here?” (Bamidbar 32:6) 

As Moshe points out, this is reminiscent of the mistake their fathers made in the sin of the spies when they desired to remain in the desert; indeed this could undermine everything and demotivate the entire Jewish people!

So the Reubenites and Gaddites respond with a counteroffer: “We will enter the land with you and fight in the vanguard; we will lead the way and we will not return to our lands across the Jordan until the rest of the Jewish people have inherited their lands.”

Moshe accepts this response and indeed they fulfill their promise by leading the people in battle and not returning to their promised lands until the war is over and the other tribes have inherited their own lands. (Joshua 6:7)