Va’yetze: Denying responsibility, spinning reality

The first Pirates of the Caribbean film spent a few moments discussing the “honesty” of pirates. The lead character cheats in a duel and is thus accused, “You cheated!” He responds, “Pirate!” as if to say, “I don’t follow conventional rules.”

One of the more memorable moments is when the female protagonist demands, in exchange for a precious medallion, that the pirates who are currently attacking Port Royal “leave and never come back.”

When they agree, they begin to set sail with her on board, leading her to exclaim, “Wait! You have to take me to shore.” And she is told, “Your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement so I must do nothing…”

The way of the sneaky and tricky is to make deals using vague language and to deny responsibility for any wrongdoing, when the honest person gets burned.

Consider Lavan’s approach to Yaakov when Yaakov seeks to marry Rachel. Yaakov tells Lavan, “I will work for you for seven years [to marry] Rachel your younger daughter.” (29:18). Lavan’s response is, “It’s better for me to give her to you than to another man, so stay with me.”

He never said, “After seven years of working, I promise you will marry Rachel.” And so, sure enough, after seven years, Lavan gives Leah to Yaakov.

When Yaakov asks why he’s been tricked, Lavan explains, “That’s not the way it is done in our place — to give the younger one before the older one [is married]. Finish the seven day (celebration), and we will give you the other daughter in exchange for the work you’ll do for seven more years.”

The terms “our place” and “we will give” are striking – almost funny when you know whom we’re dealing with. Rachel is Lavan’s daughter, and yet he pins all the rules on whether she may marry on everyone else’s consent. “The people” won’t allow such a wedding. “The people” will give Rachel away. It’s not Lavan’s fault. His hands are tied.

Ramban claims this is the way of Lavan — to deny all responsibility. He is honest. He is pure. He keeps his word. He meant what he said and he said what he meant. 100 percent.