That's Life: Movie or Thumb Wrestling?

Issue of July 10, 2009 / 18 Tammuz 5769

Dear That’s Life,

Overheard at Fifth of July barbeque:

I went to high school to learn how to type; I went to college to learn my social security number. Everything else was useless.

Eddie Lowenthal

Dear That’s Life,

One of two things happens every time I go to the movies: either I fall asleep or I go to the bathroom.  Often, both happen.  Rarely, however, do I get through a movie without one occurring and therefore, watching an entire movie is a thing of the past.  That is something I associate with my younger years.

As a result, no one likes to go to the movies with me — understandably so.  It’s also a bit of a waste of money for me to buy a ticket to a theatre so I can simply take a nap.  Cut me some slack - an air-conditioned room, comfy seats and a darkened theatre.  That spells naptime to me.

On a bright and sunny day (remember that ONE day?), I took some of my children to a movie about two weeks ago and after making sure they were settled, I nestled into my chair and once the lights were out, so was I.  Someone recently asked me if I had enjoyed the film and I honestly could not tell him, for I had no clue what the movie was about.  The only thing that woke me from my slumber was my vibrating cell phone, which made me jump out of my skin.

Walking out of the theatre to take the call, I decided I needed to get a soda to wake me up a little.  Still in a bit of a daze, I went to the bathroom first to wash my face and then I’d order my Pepsi.  Coming out of the bathroom, I noticed a commotion in the lobby.  Crowded and huddled around each other, the staff at the theatre were cheering and carrying on around what seemed to be a couple of people in the middle.  I could not imagine what was going on and, still a little tired, I wasn’t sure I wasn’t imagining things.

The only customer in the lobby, no one noticed me until I inched forward, trying to get a better glimpse into what was happening.  And then I noticed two, large, burly African American men in the middle of the crowd engaged in, what seemed like, a serious and energetic thumb wrestle match.

Smiling, I approached the snack counter to buy my soda.

“Slow day?” I asked the gentleman behind the counter, who had been busy watching the match before I rudely approached. “It’s finally a nice day so no one is here,” he responded. “And I guess you guys have already watched all of the movies here, right?” I asked. “Yes,” he nodded. He handed me my drink and my change and said, “Have a nice day and enjoy your movie.”

“Movie? What movie?” I asked. “I am going back to sleep...this has been one heck of a dream.”

MLW