That's Life: Hands-off the stomach!

Issue of July 17, 2009 / 25 Tammuz 5769

Dear That’s Life,

Several months ago, beyond exhausted after two days of Yom Tov, my four-year-old son, Naftali, was crying because he wanted his cousin’s candy ring. To calm him down, I promised that I would take him to the candy store after school the next day to buy his very own candy ring. That led to this exchange:

“I don’t want to go to school. I want to stay home with Daddy.”

“It’s a work day for Daddy.”

“Then I want to stay home with Dovid.”

“It’s a school day for Dovid.”

“Then I want to stay home with Leora.”

“It’s a school day for Leora.”

“Then I want to stay home with you.”

“It’s a work day for me, too.”

“Then I want to stay home with myself.”

“You can’t stay home by yourself, but I promise that I will take you to the candy store when school is over.”

“I want to go to the candy store by myself.”

“But how will you get there?”

“You’ll take me.”

Chani Fertig

Dear That’s Life,

When did it become okay to reach out and rub a woman’s pregnant belly?

And why doesn’t that constitute some form of sexual harassment?

Having passed Kindergarten, I can tell you that, ‘Keep your hands to yourself’ is a really good piece of advice, as is, ‘If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’

I truthfully believe that people mean no harm when they make comments that, often, must have sounded better in their head than they do when it comes out of their mouth. And, trust me, I am certainly guilty of having said things that I wished I had not. But only when someone admits they have a problem can they actually receive help - at least I know I have a problem.

On that note, the following is a Top-10 list of comments I have heard in relation to this and my previous pregnancies. Enjoy — and I know, many of you have heard these yourselves. Don’t worry: you’re not alone.

10. No, really — when are you due?

9. I can barely tell you’re pregnant from behind.

8. So, how many?

7. You must be retaining a lot of water.

6. My — haven’t we grown! (WE?)

5. Your nose hasn’t changed at all.

4. Did your mother carry this big?

3. How long does it take you to lose all the weight?

2. Are you still fitting into the clothes you wore at the beginning?

And my favorite...

1. Well, you look ready!

MLW