Rabbi Twerski, at YIW, says happiness is best found thru its pursuit

Everyone stood to honor Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twerski as he walked to the front of the Young Israel of Woodmere’s main sanctuary to talk about the “Pursuit of Happiness and the Retreat from Happiness,” in memory of Rebekah Ann Frucht who died on the second day of Shavuot two years ago.

Our society has a “distorted idea of happiness,” Rabbi Twerski began, and we often confuse the pursuit of happiness with the pursuit of pleasure. Some think that their ultimate goal is to achieve maximum pleasure, that if they receive pleasure they will have received happiness; others do not even question what is the goal or purpose of their lives.

Adolescents, longing for happiness, receive pleasure as they experiment with drugs and alcohol. However, as experimentation occurs in the search for happiness, it actually brings about a retreat from happiness, requiring more pain relievers.

Thus, asked Rabbi Twerski asked, “is pleasure the only goal in one’s life?”

He compared the character traits of human beings with those of animals, emphasizing that man is the only living thing that has self-awareness, with the ability to establish goals and purposes for his life. Man can control his desires, unlike the animal that has no control over any desires or actions; man can differentiate right from wrong, and understand the concept of chesed (charity and good deeds); man has the ability to be humble and patient, whereas the animal is only concerned about itself; man has the ability to delay gratification, pushing off the good until the end to make the present more worthwhile. Rabbi Twerski described all of these traits as the Human Spirit; if we have these traits, then we have a spirit, he said.

Yet these traits are not the essence of a human being if they are not exercised, Rabbi Twerski continued. If they are exercised, by using the Human Spirit, then an individual is spiritual. Spirituality is not religion; rather, it is the exercise of the religion. Many people believe that one is spiritual because of their belief in their religion, however, even though they may believe in something, if they do not use their religion in their everyday life, they fail to be truly spiritual.

Ordained by the Hebrew Theological College of Chicago, Rabbi Twerski was also a clinical director of the Department of Psychiatry and an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Medicine. An accomplished speaker who has appeared on many television and radio programs, he has authored more than 60 books.

Rabbi Twerski faulted psychologists for excluding a consideration of spirituality in their sessions with patients. They ask about a patient’s problems and how those problems were provoked, yet they do not ask the patient about the goals they wish to achieve in their life. People need to ask themselves what they were created for and what their purpose is, otherwise they will regret not thinking about it later on, when it is too late.

It may seemed vague as to what spirituality had to do with happiness, but Rabbi Twerski resolved that once goals are set and our spirit is exercised, we will reach true happiness.

Happiness is often cut short because of pain, he said, observing that people spend so much time focusing on the pain in their lives that happiness seems unattainable, causing depression.

So how can pain be reduced? Rabbi Twerski confidently answered, “Forgive.” Pain cannot be reduced if the person who caused the pain has not been forgiven. “How do we forgive them?” he asked. “Do something nice for the person who hurt you. [If] there isn’t anything to do for the person, daven (pray) for them.” Animals do not have the ability to forgive, he said.

Rabbi Twerski concluded by explaining what the meaning of happiness really is, while tying in the differences between man and animal.

Animals are born with their exact purpose — an alligator is born the exact way it will be for the rest of its life. A human, on the other hand, is born incomplete. Unlike the animals that G-d created in a complete form, man has the ability to make his own completion, and happiness is obtained by striving for and achieving that completion, he said.

When the journey includes discomfort, pain and unpleasant occurrences, if man exercises his Human Spirit, forgives the people who caused him pain and considers their purpose in life, then the pursuit of happiness will be attained.