Great Neck synagogue reflects on CT tragedy

On Tuesday night, Great Neck Synagogue held an evening of reflection in response to the recent tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Rabbis Dale Polakoff and Rabbi Avraham Bronstein hosted congregants at what keynote speaker Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinrib, Orthodox Union Executive Vice President, Emeritus noted was the “only synagogue community to convene in response to this unspeakable tragedy. This tragedy calls for the Jewish community to come together to grapple with this. In his address entitled, “Creating a Culture of Peace: Political and Spiritual Lessons of the Newtown Attacks, ” Rabbi Weinrib emphasized the message of the evening. “The tendency we have is to distance ourselves from the tsunaminami, for example, that happened over there. Philosophers use the term, ‘the other.’ Tragedies happen to ‘the other.’ In our minds we can make it far. By coming together tonight we are sending a message, we are saying, it’s not ‘the other.’ This happened to us.”

Rabbi Weinrib offered practical suggestions as to what can be told to a child, following the first and initial stage of grief, which should incorporate silence. In the first stage, Rabbi Weinrib noted, “There are no words, we must stand by in silence.”

Rabbi Weinrib’s staged approach includes:

(1) Get a clear picture: Gauge what stage your child or grandchild is in. Wait for him or her to ask about it.

(2) Listen. Don’t talk; just listen.

(3) Adjust your response to your child’s needs.

(4) Assure your child that he or she is safe.

(5) Gun Control – expanding on point 4, the way to do that is not arming other people with guns. In a reference to the Talmud, Rabbi Weinrib stated, “It’s not the mouse that steals the cheese, it’s the hole in the wall that steals the cheese. If the person does not have the where with all to be a murderer, he can’t murder. We need rational, sensitive, thorough gun control.”

Rabbi Weinrib emphasized that trust in society has been eroded. “Lessons of trust must be re-taught. To begin healing means to go on with life, not immediately, but eventually. As Jews, we are a light unto the nations. We need to teach people how to appreciate life, each in our own way. We can change the world. We have to recognize that we are all one.”