From the heart of Jerusalem: Counting up the Omer

I did not come to Israel to learn Torah. At least not in the traditional sense. I wasn’t thirsting for more Gemara nor was I aching for Rambam’s insights on halacha.

I came here because of one dry question: Is it in my best interest to follow halacha? Struggling very much with theological questions, I did not know what to make of the Jewish lifestyle and I saw serious decisions accompanying the approach of college. Before committing to a lifestyle, be it secular or religious, I just wanted to do exhaustive research.

I am thankful to say that my yeshiva experience has clarified the issue. I have tasted the riches offered by the Jewish life, the joy and purpose its value-system instills in my teachers and Jews throughout Israel. How could I not want to be a part of that? So now I sit in the Beit Midrash and reflect with pleasure on my year’s great success.

What now? It is very tempting to feel satisfied—call it a day and pack for America. But for some reason, that’s not the plan. My yeshiva has me here for another month. And it’s very hard to know what to do with that.

Meanwhile I feel each passing day like the loud ticking of a clock’s second-hand in the dead of night. The counting of the omer pronounces the passage of time with thunderous clarity. Day after day I stand in the same place, at the same time, and continue the count.

This daily routine imposes a powerful and inescapable time-consciousness. It is easy to feel like I’m slowly, methodically counting down the days of my yeshiva year. But this attitude actually captures a fundamental misunderstanding of the omer. The omer is not a count-down—it is a count-up. Each subsequent day labels the next higher number. This seemingly trivial detail makes all the difference.

When does a person count down? When he worries about reaching a deadline; when he awaits the end of work; when he dreads the impending flight back from Hawaii. A count-down looks ahead and engages awareness of the future. It highlights a world of change that is independent of the one counting. This change may permit a reaction from the person, but the count itself does not capture any personal dynamic.