For the love of Bekah

It is rapidly approaching Shavuot which will mark the fifth yahrtzeit of my beloved daughter Rebekah, better known as Bekah.

These past five years have been extremely difficult for our family but I can only write about my experience due to my loss and where this journey has taken me. My Bekah was a sweet, compassionate and funny young woman. She lived her life to be there for others. Anyone who had the zichut of knowing her would always say how they were impressed that even though she lived with an illness daily, she could and would always try to help others. 

Only after Bekah’s passing was I to learn how even more special of a person she was and that she gave of herself selflessly never wanting or expecting anything in return. Several people wrote me to tell me how she never gave up on them and that they are still alive because of her.

I don’t know why Hashem picked me to be her mom. I no longer believe in coincidence. I believe Hashem has a great plan and that even though we don’t understand it or agree with it we have to have bitachon that it’s for our best.

Nowadays I go the extra mile to help people. I’m lucky to work for a doctor so I’m easily in a position to bring a smile to someone who isn’t well or to someone who has a loved one who isn’t well. I now stop many times and think what would Bekah have done in this certain situation and I always feel like I’m doing more because that’s what she stood for. I try to reach out to other moms who are in my position to try to see if there’s just a little something I could do to help them because I know how they are feeling.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather have my daughter here living a healthy normal life — but because that wasn’t the plan, I’m thankful that I was able to get myself to the point where I am. I thank Hashem for having given me such a beautiful neshama to raise as my daughter. I thank Bekah for all that she has taught me. I’m  so proud to say that I’m her mom. I was blessed to have her in my life for 24 short years but she left a mark on my heart forever.

May the neshama of Refaella Chana Rivka (Rebekah Anne) have an aliyah. May I always be able to continue to do good things for others in her merit. I wait for the day when Moshiach comes that can all be together again.

On the occasion of Rebekah Anne Frucht’s fifth yahrtzeit, Rabbi Paysach Krohn will deliver a special lecture, “Extend Your Hand and Touch a Heart: Communal Unity,” on Wednesday, May 10, 8:30 pm, at the Young Israel of Woodmere, 859 Peninsula Blvd.