Ask Aviva: Dad fears pregnant wife

Dear Aviva,
My wife is pregnant and I feel like she is a different person! She blames it on the hormones and being pregnant, but it’s really taking a toll on me. According to her, I’m always either saying the wrong things, looking at her the wrong way, or I smell bad. Whatever I say or do seems to just anger her more and it’s frustrating for me, not to mention I don’t want to be around her! I want my wife back!

-Sad (soon-to-be) Dad

Dear Sad Dad,
I think you summed up how many husbands feel. You are in a tough boat, but you will make it tougher in yourself if you keep looking at the short-term vs. the long-term.
Just keep telling yourself that this isn’t your wife under regular circumstances and needs to be handled with kid gloves. I don’t know how well you are able to put your ego aside in general, but now is good training ground to do so. You will have to cater to her for a bit, and if she seems to resist or push away, that may be her testing to see if you are really there for her.
She does not enjoy being a crazy, hormonal blob, even though she probably thinks she is logical. Don’t try to convince her otherwise. Try to put on different glasses when she is going a little nutty. Instead of “Wow, she’s lost it,” think, “Wow, she’s in distress.” That way you can be her helper instead of her antagonist.