The answer, my friends, is simcha

One of the nagging questions parents face as they grow a family is how to raise successful children. In his shiur on that subject, Rabbi Moshe Teitelbaum, mora d’asra of the Young Israel of Lawrence-Cedarhurst, offered a simple answer.

He advises that parents raise their children in simcha. To do so, however, requires more practice than preaching.

To raise a successful child — one who will contribute to family and community — parents must construct a home environment built on mutual respect and decorum. It is through this living example that children will be able to internalize the true Torah values that are important to their everyday lives.

It is the role of the parent, Rabbi Teitelbaum suggests, to ensure that children face minimal tumult and anxiety, helping them to develop a “mindset of calmness” and tranquility. It is through this calmness that children can hone their own sense of contentment and individuality, aiding them in becoming more self-confident.

Parents should foster their children’s sense of ability, indoctrinating them with the notion that they can achieve whatever they want, he said.

Rabbi Teitelbaum concluded by imploring parents to avoid molding their children from their own expectations. For children to truly be successful, he advises, they must come to a sense of self on their own.