Seidemann: Hope for the President

From the other side of the bench

By David Seidemann  

Issue of August 7, 2009 / 17 Av 5769

The only light more red than the one I passed through was the light on top of the NYPD patrol car that pulled me over. I had all sorts of defenses planned but then remembered the advice I have given clients many times over. Accept the ticket, allow the officer to perform his job, perhaps he’ll remember how courteous you were, and negotiate later.

So if it was me instead of the Harvard Professor who was arrested while seeking entry to his own home, I would have politely explained that I lived here, followed the officer’s commands and in all likelihood would not have let the affair escalate to the point where I was arrested for disorderly conduct.

No, it wasn’t the officers who acted irresponsibly, it was Professor Henry  Louis Gates. And no it wasn’t the person who called the cops who spoke irresponsibly, it was President Obama. Without knowing any of the facts, President Obama labeled their actions “stupid.” White officers arrest black people all day long and black officers arrest white people all day long and not a word from our President. But this case was different. Why? Because the arrestee was a friend of the President.

So three beers and one non-alcoholic drink later, all is well. (Biden drank a non-alcoholic beverage — probably a smart move on behalf of the administration, as his penchant for gaffes would only increase if plyed with alcohol).

To his credit, President Obama backtracked and admitted he spoke too harshly and too quickly. Indeed, he was guilty of the very rush to judgment of which he accused the police.

The greatest casualty (thankfully) of Obama’s ill advised words was that his healthcare plan took a back seat for a week and the country now has more time to study a healthcare plan that could make you sick. Once again it becomes clear that the spoken word can either build upon or totally derail man’s plans. Those three words uttered by ObamaL “They [the officers] acted stupidly” shifted the entire focus of an administration, the press, and the nation from a discussion of healthcare to an analysis of race relations and prejudice, with the President’s comments being as unfounded as any words a white man could utter about an African American.

The President has as much to learn it seems, as those who he thought needed a lesson. Who was it who said, “words matter?”

Then there is the other end of the spectrum: the words of an 18 year old girl in New Jersey that resonated well and succeeded in changing the life of a despondent man and his family. The young lady’s name is Tikvah, “hope” in Hebrew, which is exactly what she ultimately provided.

Two years ago she began to visit patients in a local hospital. She happened upon the room of a mentally disabled 50 year-old man who had suffered a stroke. A curse upon a curse. Sitting with the 50 year-old invalid was his 60 year-old sister who had never married and their 87 year-old father. Though born into the Jewish faith, they had no faith and did not observe any of the dictates of the Jewish religion.

The 87 year-old man cried to Tikvah that he had lost his wife, has a 60 year-old daughter who never married and a 50 year-old son more dead than alive.

“There is no G-d,” he exclaimed.

Oh, but there is, insisted Tikvah. Look at nature. Look at how though G-d took your wife, your children are not alone. Look how your son, in his limited capacity, has a father to care for him and love him. Look how your daughter, who is alone, has a father who looks after her, upon whom she can rely in her loneliest of moments.

That discussion was the first of many weekly discussions that have taken place, every Friday afternoon for the last two years.

Wherever Tikvah is in the United States, or out of the country, she calls this man. In one discussion, he mentioned that he remembered his Bubbie made chicken soup on Friday nights. Tikvah sent over chicken soup. One April, he mentioned that his Bubbie made a dish on Passover called matzo brei. Tikvah whipped up a dish of matzo brei and had it delivered to the man and his daughter.

Slowly, slowly, the kind acts, and the interest Tikvah showed to this man, his sick son, and single daughter yielded fruits. It took him a while but his belief and trust in Tikvah, an Orthodox Jewish girl, morphed into a belief in G-d the way Tikvah perceives. They see G-d’s presence in their daily lives, through the tears, through the hardships.

At 87 its difficult to learn a whole new way of life. And no, he and his daughter are not (yet) Sabbath observant and do not (yet) maintain a kosher home. But two weeks ago, Tikvah received a phone call from the daughter informing her that while she and her father still eat non-kosher, they no longer eat milk and meat together.

So what, you say? I say, that change was more difficult for them  than anything I do in the name of religion on a daily basis.

What was the genesis of their newfound belief in G-d? Believing in one of G-d’s creations. And not just any creation, but a creation that showed an interest in them; that did not look down upon them; a creation, a young girl, whose words were chosen carefully and with thought; words that unified and bridged a divide.

She would make a good President one day.

David Seidemann is a partner with the law firm of Seidemann & Mermelstein.  He can be reached at (718) 692-1013 and at ds@lawofficesm.com.