Letters to the Editor

Posted

Issue of Sept. 5, 2008

What about single dads?

To the Editor:

As a once-a-long-time-ago single parent, a then, and now, devoted father, I take umbrage at the failure of Rabbi and Rebbetzin Chatzinoff to extend their presumably well-intentioned efforts of outreach to time-needy single moms by turning to the kehillah at large without first approaching the children’s other parent, namely their father, who is most likely not dead, although he may be that to the ex-spouse.

At least, so it would appear in “Cedarhurst Shul Plans Outreach To Single Parents” (Jewish Star; August 29, 2008), the headline of which is in and of itself inaccurate, as Malka Eisenberg’s fine article speaks not one word about outreach to single parents -- only single moms. The oversight, one suspects, is not hers.

Speaking from more than personal experience, most non-custodial fathers would only be too happy to be involved in their sons’ and daughters’ lives. “Mentoring, counseling, tutoring... learning gemara and mishna,” are all endeavors that would, in most cases, redound to the betterment of the childrens’ welfare, creating shalom for both father and child.

Outreach efforts which fail to include the non-custodial parent, are a disservice to the children more than they are to that parent. Although lack of shalom bayit may have led to the dissolution of the marriage, children and each of their parents need shalom even after the bayit no longer stands. By engaging in outreach to single “parents,” the Rabbi’s and Rebbetzin’s efforts would go a long way towards accomplishing that.

Yitzchok Stein

Cedarhurst

An idea for student moms

To the Editor:

Chani Fertig’s article “Hanging in the balance, life as a mother and student” (Back to school; August 22, 2008) underscores the importance of extended families. When extended families are not available to assist young mothers with their children, surrogate extended families would be very helpful. There are many healthy, capable, retired individuals who would probably relish the opportunity to nurture young children so the young mothers can move themselves forward with ease. In addition, they might appreciate a little pocket money to supplement their social security checks along with a chance to feel like useful, productive members of society. Perhaps local congregations or Jewish Community Centers could facilitate the introduction of those who need help to those who’d provide it? It might not work for everyone, but I’m sure many could make use of it.

Pam Singer

Malverne