view from central park: tehilla r. goldberg

K-thru-life: Kindness never looks old

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Mrs. Leah Kagan was one of my favorite people. When I think of the kind of person I want to be, it is she, a treasure of kindness and sweetness, one of the most accepting people I ever met, with an ever-present warm smile and the kindest brown eyes you ever did see.

When I arrived in Israel for my gap year, I was a newly minted 18-year-old high school graduate from Denver. What did I know about all these New Yorkers I suddenly found myself surrounded by? I was flattered when one of the trendier, edgy New York girls approached me. She said she had heard I was from Denver: did I know Rebbetzin Leah Kagan?

Why, yes, of course I did, I replied. She was the kindergarten teacher of two of my younger sisters. Certainly, I knew that Mrs. Kagan was the wife of Denver’s rosh yeshiva, but, most important, she was a kindergarten teacher par excellence.

With newfound respect for this lowly Denverite, the girl who approached me was now informing me of Mrs. Kagan’s pedigree: apparently, Mrs. Kagan came from a distinguished household, the daughter of a famed pre-World War II Austrian rabbi. The girl was explaining how she is somehow distantly related to Mrs. Kagan, expressing an unabashed desire to be associated with her.

I remember feeling genuinely surprised at learning this. Granted, Mrs. Kagan embodied dignity as naturally as any woman would aspire to. Yet, Mrs. Kagan … she was so understated, so approachable. Her sincerity, her kindness and softness, her modesty, these character traits eclipsed all of her other wonderful aspects including, I suppose, her distinguished lineage.

In that moment, as a young student broadening horizons for the first time, I internalized an important life lesson. You need not shout accomplishments from the rooftop, you need not hang your identity upon greatness that preceded you. Become your own greatness. Be like Mrs. Kagan.

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