Editorial: Remembering Steven Mayer

Two weeks ago, Steven Mayer went missing.

Like thousands of others in the New York and New Jersey area, we saw the fliers posted up about Mayer. We saw Mayer’s gentle smile on the flier along with his age and weight and the model of the silver Nissan he drove. Like thousands of others, we hoped and prayed that he would be found, miraculously alive, and that soon he would be reunited with his loving family.

That was not to be the case. On Shabbos, Oct. 16, his body was found in Riverhead. The funeral was held on Monday, two weeks after he disappeared. We cannot imagine what his family went through and how they are now dealing with his death. We hope that the family is using the same love and iron resolve they showed during the two-week period when Mayer was missing.

We, like everyone else, feel a guilt; one that doesn’t weigh on our shoulders insomuch as it hovers above our heads. We could have gone to Riverhead, we could have helped search. We could have driven down that road where Mayer’s car was found.

As religious Jews we believe that an unseen hand guides our fate. As Rabbi Dale Polakoff, rabbi of The Great Neck Synagogue, said so eloquently during the funeral, “Hashem [G-d] didn’t want us to find Steven Mayer until the right time and when we looked it wasn’t the right time.”

It is hard to make sense of tragedy, especially a tragedy of this magnitude. As Rabbi Polakoff said, all we can do is accept the judgment, “accept it with many tears.”

We wish condolences and strength to the Mayer family. We hope that knowing how many Jews from all walks of life came out to search for Mayer is a small comfort for their loss.

If there is anything we can learn from this horrible tragedy it is to hold closely to those we love; be they family or friends. One day they may be here, eating cereal in front of the television, and the next day, they may be gone, vanished into thin air.

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Stuart Mayer, Steven’s son, is the brother-in-law of Ilan Tocker. We reported in September that Tocker suffered a brain injury over the summer. Thankfully, Tocker is recovering steadily at a rehabilitation center in Long Island. However, the family is in need of funds to pay for his continued treatment. You can donate to the Ilan Tocker foundation via their website, Ilantockerfoundation.com.