David's Harp: When Michelle Obama is 63

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When Michelle Obama is 63 she looks in the mirror and decides she needs to see a plastic surgeon. She finds one of the best doctors who also happens to be a dear friend of the family. She makes an appointment and goes to see him. She says to the doctor, “I would like to look exactly like I looked 44 years ago when I was 19.” The doctor looks over her weathered body that appears to have survived a couple of battles in her time. He delicately says to her, “Because we’re friends I can talk to you this way and I’ll tell it to you straight.”

The doctor explains. “Some of the geography of your body has changed in the last 44 years. Your west bank has filled out in ways that does not lend itself to a simple complete reversal of mass. The tone and tension itself will never snap back no matter what I do to negotiate that region. And with regard to up north, I’m afraid that if we pull it back to your youthful shape you will be in a dangerously vulnerable state and may suffer irreparable damage in the future. I see you’ve already surgically removed your Gaza strip, and I can’t believe you’re even still breathing without your sinus peninsula.”

“Oh but doctor,” Michelle pleads. “My husband said it’s just a starting point the way I looked back in 1967. He said that you could swap a little here and there, that’s entirely up to you.” The doctor says, “That’s very kind of him to leave the swap details up to me with the starting point of a 19 year old body, but it’s clear that your husband doesn’t understand human nature, science or history. Or for that matter, I don’t think he has a clue as to how one bargains for success.

You don’t start at disaster and work your way to the goal. You must begin with reality and parley your way to a safe and sound deal.”

Michelle says. “My husband says that everyone wants to look like they did in 1967 and he’s just being blatantly honest in vocalizing this fact.”

The doctor laughs. “Michelle, sure everyone wants to be 19 years old again, but have you seen any, I mean even one, 63 year old who even looks close to what she looked like 44 years ago? That’s fantasy world. I mean I could do it, but after I removed all the vital parts and returned all that dangerous stuff that was no good for you, even years ago, you’d be dead in a few moments.”

Michelle goes home and consults with her husband and returns to the doctor the next day. Michelle says to the doctor, “My husband is willing for me to take that chance, he doesn’t want to miss this opportunity …for himself.”