Chinuch for girls Vs. Chinuch for boys

Dear Aviva,

I was thinking about the basic differences between the chinuch that is implemented for girls (high schools and seminaries) vs. the yeshiva method and how it has a negative impact on relationships/marriages. Today, more than ever, girls have programs available to them that are geared solely toward educating them for purposes of marriage. This gives them a wide palette of invaluable tools to use both to streamline the dating process and also in the arena of marriage itself. Boys, on the other hand, do not get much education in that area. It is assumed that they can figure it out through a few short “chossen classes.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t always play out so simply and many guys (including myself) lack basic communication skills and understanding of how to relate with the opposite sex due to a lack of education and preparation. If this issue starts to be addressed, perhaps it will be the first move toward a better future for frum couples...

What do you think?

— Short Changed

Dear Short Changed,

Funny that you should ask ME about this issue. I happen to be on the sidelines of some boys’/men’s programming that is implemented in Yeshivas and Hebrew Academies throughout the N.Y. region. Its goal is Healthy Relationships. Various presenters (many of them Master’s level Therapists) run workshop-style classes throughout the school year. It’s gotten great feedback from the guys and we’ll be waiting a few years to see if it has made any long-term impact on marriage. (Okay, okay, if you *must* know, my husband is the director of this program. And yes, I am very, very proud of him.)