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Dear That’s Life,
There’s an edgy bookstore in Brooklyn I like to frequent. They don’t live and breathe by the New York Times Best Seller List, though sometimes the books overlap. They usually sell what they like by authors they like and if the books happen to coincidentally be best sellers, then so be it — but it’s not intentional.
Actually picking up some books for a course I am taking, I took a minute to peruse the tables when one book caught my eye. At first glance it was just another copy of “Goodnight Moon” by Margaret Wise Brown, the beloved children’s book. It didn’t make sense, however that this book would end up in this store — and then I read the cover again. I was wrong. It didn’t say “Goodnight Moon” — it said “Goodnight Bush.”
Calling itself “an unauthorized parody” and having a disclaimer on the back that it was not “prepared, approved or authorized” by anyone having to do with “Goodnight Moon,” I immediately began to laugh. Flipping through the pages to find the role of the grandmother who whispers ‘hush’ being replaced by a cartoon Cheney (wearing bunny slippers) was good, but not nearly as good as the closing line of the book: “Goodnight failures everywhere” with a terrified looking Bush peering out from under the covers.
Paying attention to the details in the illustrations, any astute (non-Republican) reader is sure to enjoy every page as each is filled with many political commentaries on the eight-year reign of George W. Bush.
“I love this book!” I exclaimed as I met the eyes of the guy behind the counter. He smiled a big, proud, toothy grin. “Is there a limit to how many I can buy?” I asked. “We haven’t put a cap on it yet,” he answered, “but we’re considering it. They’re going like hotcakes.”
I could only imagine. Someone else in the store heard and saw my excitement and so she too picked up the book and was also an instant fan.
“I’m going to buy one and read it to my kids before they go to sleep,” she said. “It’s the best fairytale ever.” Grabbing two copies for myself I looked at her and added, “Ahh — dreams really can come true.”
Buy one for the Republican in your life.
MLW
Dear That’s Life,
While shopping in Foodtown and unloading my cart, I noticed two rather tall and beefy men ahead of me on line. They seemed to be buying only one item — cherries — but an inordinate amount of them.
“I am not telling my wife about this,” one said to the other as he pulled out some cash, ready to pay for the crop of fruit he was purchasing. His friend nodded. “I wouldn’t if I were you,” he added.
“That’s $65.32, please,” said the cashier and the man handed over a stack of bills. The cashier made change, for whatever the man was owed, bagged the cherries and grabbed the receipt from the top of the register, ready to hand it all over to the customer.
“You can hold to that, buddy,” said the man, referring to the receipt. “There is no way I am leaving with that piece of paper. Throw it out for me, will you? My wife will kill me if she finds out I spent 65 bucks on cherries.”
He then looked at me as if to make sure I wasn’t going to spill the beans and was in on the secret, although I had no idea who he or his wife were.
“Don’t worry,” I said, reassuringly. “Whatever happens in Foodtown, stays in Foodtown.”
MLW
