Ask Aviva
57 results total, viewing 11 - 20
Dear Aviva, My daughter just returned from sleep-away camp and B”H she had a fantastic time. Of course, she wants to keep in touch with all her new friends who live in various cities across America and even in Israel. However, she says all her friends keep in touch via Facebook rather than email. more
Dear Aviva, I feel that my husband and I don’t always see eye to eye on our child rearing. My disciplining ways don’t mesh with his, one reason being that I am a former educator and he has no previous experience with children. I feel that I am constantly telling him how to parent. I get exasperated with his lackadaisical ways, and I feel that it is confusing to our children when I say one thing and he says another. How do we get on the same page? more
Dear Aviva, I just moved to a new community. I know that all beginnings are difficult, but it’s taken more of a toll on me than I had expected. I feel overwhelmed with all my responsibilities of setting up a new home, making new friends, and getting to know the neighborhood. I feel that I have to live up to the expectations of the norm here, which include having a job, looking great, keeping a clean, modern home, and cooking superb Shabbat meals, all while maintaining a healthy relationship with my husband. But I don’t feel like Superwoman! How can I ease into my new community without feeling these pressures all at once? more
Dear Aviva, I recently lost my husband after a long battle with a degenerative illness. I’m relieved that he is out of pain now, but I am having a very hard time coping now. I thought the hard part was supposed to be over, but now it seems even more difficult. I’m just so alone now. I don’t have motivation to do much of anything. My kids and grandkids are really trying to tend to me, but it’s not helping. They keep telling me that I need to see someone to speak to. I’m really not interested in going for therapy because I don’t see how talking about the past can help me right now. -Woeful Widow more
To my dear Readers, We, as a nation, are still raw from the tragic and shocking murder of Leiby Kletzky. Many people have asked me questions related to the aftermath. I feel that it is an important issue to address, and apologize for taking a break from my usual light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek tone while I share some of these questions and my answers. more
Dear Aviva, I’ve been friends with someone for the past 20 years. We grew up near each other and were in school together from elementary all the way to college. Now that we both have our own families, I am realizing more and more that she is (and has always been) a very jealous and negative person. She never seems to actually care about me or what I’m going through. I don’t even know why she’s kept up the connection this long. If I first met her at this point in my life, I probably would avoid her. Am I stuck with her just because there is a history? And is there any good way to cut ties without enraging her? more
Dear Aviva, My wife and I just moved to a wonderful Jewish community. We are very happy with our new home and our new friends. However, we generally feel like we are the most right wing of our group and it bothers us. We can’t be 100% sure of some of our friends’ kashrus, a lot of my friends don’t go to minyan (and when they do, they shmooze throughout!) and a lot of them are more caught up in drinking than giving divrei torah at the Shabbos table. I know I must sound very judgmental, since we are all on different levels of hashkafah (philosophy) and we do like our friends; we just feel like they are not a good influence on our family. What to do? -Frummy Friend more
Dear Aviva, I feel very silly writing about this and don’t know if you will even publish it, but I have a sheitel problem. I’ve had the same one since I got married 6 years ago. It’s outdated, stretched and not even my color anymore. Plus, I never liked the cut. But I can’t afford a new one, and I literally cry almost every morning when I put it on to leave for work. I think I’ve scared my husband. And then I feel guilty for being petty. Not to mention the guilt of starting to hate the mitzvah of covering my hair. more
Dear Aviva, I just got engaged 2 months ago and have a problem. My friends and I used to be very tight. We would hang out all the time and go away to different places for Shabbos. I have begun to notice that they have been calling me less and less. I see on Facebook that they are still going to cool places for Shabbos and I don’t even get invited. I understand that it’s hard for them that they are still single and I’m getting married, but I thought that our friendship was based on more than just being single together. I’m really hurt. -Betrayed Bride more
Dear Aviva, The summer will be here before we know it and I am starting to get more and more nervous about sending my 11 year-old son away to sleep-away camp. I’m sure he’ll be homesick and he only knows 3 other boys going. Also, I doubt he would remember to shower and brush his teeth. I am highly considering cancelling his registration and just sending him to day camp locally. What do you think I should tell him when I change his plans? -Cautious Camp Mom more
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